Dad Was Saying He Needed New Dentures Again

Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Matthew 19: 19

Dad said that he needed new dentures. We had gone to a dentist a year earlier when he said that and we were told that the quality of his dentures were excellent. She didn't advise getting new ones, but said that he needed them relined.

Now, Dad was saying that he needed new dentures again. Once my dad gets it in his mind, it is very difficult to explain the logic to him. I talked to one of the nurses and she said they could swab Dad's gums and that might help, but he continued to bring up the need for new dentures. I wasn't quite sure what to do. New dentures are expensive and I was told he didn't need them, but I didn't want Dad upset or uncomfortable. I prayed about it and fortunately, God had it work out perfectly!

I asked the nurse to see if Dad could be scheduled for a dentist appointment and they did. I kept thinking that Dad would go in and ask for a new pair of dentures and they might just do what he asked regardless of whether he needed them or not. Fortunately, God had the appointment on a day that my husband and I were able to go with him. The dentist was very supportive and checked Dad's gums and bite out thoroughly. She said that he didn't need new dentures and that they were very good dentures, but that he maybe needed spots ground down on them, so they didn't rub on his jaw bone. She did this several times and never complained when Dad said it was still rough in spots. God provided an honest dentist that didn't take advantage of my dad and was sensitive to his needs. We are truly blessed! Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Matthew 19: 19

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Oral Healthcare for Older People
By: Janet Cuoghi, IsleofWightNHS, via You Tube

Heartburn Pains That Radiated to Dad's Heart

Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

 I realize that this Bible verse is about God keeping my mouth shut, rather than saying inappropriate, rude or hurtful things. I do need that, but I also need the literal meaning of this same verse.

My dad called and was telling me that he had really bad heartburn. I talked to him about ringing the buzzer on his bed to get a nurse, so he can request something for the heartburn. He didn't want to do that. I talked to him about my calling the nurse's station to request that they bring Dad something for his heartburn, but he told me not to. I asked several more times, because he sometimes changes his mind a little later, but he always told me no. Then, he told me that the heartburn pains radiate into his heart. I told them that I wanted to call the nurse's station, so they could get a doctor to see him, but he told me no again, several times.

After that call, I was watching TV with my husband. I had what I call the munchies. At first, I was going to get the frozen pecans, but realized I could possibly down a whole bag of them which would end up being tons of fat. Instead, I decided on the low-fat, low-salt, low-calorie popcorn I have. It may have had lots less calories and fat, but I downed almost the whole bag. It felt like I couldn't stop eating it, nor did I want to. When I realized there was almost nothing left in the bag, I said a quick prayer asking God to help me and He did. Trying to be prayerful about this, I tried to figure out why I couldn't stop and why I didn't want to. It turns out that I was really stressed about the heartburn pains my dad was having that radiate to his heart and that he wouldn't let me call the nurse's station. I felt so helpless. Instead, if I weren't hiding my feelings and stress by munching on popcorn, I should have turned these feelings over to Christ, who would have calmed me and gotten me through these feelings without wreaking havoc on my body. I need to be a Turn to Christ First Christian, and let Him heal me rather than hiding behind a bag of popcorn. Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3


Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Badgered by Well-Meaning Doctors: Epilogue

The proverbs of Solomon. a wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1

Part IV: You would not believe how many times I've been approached by doctors when I've taken my dad to the hospital in the last two years. They see my dad, who has Parkinson's Disease and has lost lots of weight. I think they feel sorry for him in that he can't stand without help and his skin just hangs off of his body. Almost every time, the doctors ask me about whether I have a Durable Power of Attorney or a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Order for my dad. One doctor became very insistent about this issue, which I discussed in some previous posts.

The part I really want to share now, is this doctor felt that the most humane thing would have been to let my Dad pass when he had that lung infection. He didn't have any idea that after that lung infection, my dad had some really quality times with his family that wouldn't have happened if the doctor had jumped the gun.

Since then, we have been with my dad and he is champing at the bit to get to Physical and Occupational Therapy. My dad has even wheeled himself down to Physical and Occupational Therapy, which is no easy fete when he couldn't get someone to take him.They have had my dad help make a decorative fireplace for the holidays, make banana cake and bread, cookies, crack pecans, and so many other things that make my dad feel needed/productive. Although he doesn't have a specific appointment for twice a day, my dad makes it to Physical and Occupational Therapy about twice a day. That says a lot for the importance of having a sense of purpose!

Also, both of his grandchildren have come to see him during this time with their children. He loves his time with his great-grandchildren and he's very attached to his grandchildren. Unfortunately, some live too far away to be able to go there. We are planning a trip to a neighboring state, because he wants to see his cousins while he still is able. If the doctor had jumped the gun, my dad would have never had the opportunity to spend all this quality time with family!

I'm sure that the Well-Meaning Doctor had my dad's medical concerns at heart when he pressured me, but ultimately, I like God being in charge. God knows when He wants my dad to come join Him. At the time that my dad no longer has a heart beat or is breathing, the DNR takes effect, but not before. I don't want someone jumping the gun and side-stepping God's timing, because He always knows the big picture. Again, I don't want to imply that I am angry with the Well-Meaning Doctors. I just want them to know that sometimes, there's a bigger picture than what they see at that moment. Sometimes, the way these things are approached can make all the difference in the world. I just want them to have a better understanding of how this feels to family members.



Badgered by Well-Meaning Doctors: Part IV

The proverbs of Solomon. a wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1

Part IV: You would not believe how many times I've been approached by doctors when I've taken my dad to the hospital in the last two years. They see my dad, who has Parkinson's Disease and has lost lots of weight. I think they feel sorry for him in that he can't stand without help and his skin just hangs off of his body. Almost every time, the doctors ask me about whether I have a Durable Power of Attorney or a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Order for my dad.

 I know that I've sounded frustrated in some of the previous posts on this topic, probably because I have been. This post is somewhat different in nature, because it focuses more on forgiving grace. If Christ freely forgives me for all the self-serving and sinful things that I do, then I can surely forgive the Well-Meaning Doctors, some who went at this topic with a gusto and a lack of sensitivity.  After lots of prayerful consideration, Jesus has shown me that although some of the doctors have been somewhat pushy, while others have been more supportive, each of these Well-Meaning Doctors approached this topic strongly, because they didn't want my dad to have to live the remainder of his life in a near comatose situation hooked up to a life support system.

 If Christ freely forgives me for all the self-serving and sinful things that I do, then I can surely forgive my dad for thinking that I'm money grubbing and want him to die early to get his money, when I have continued to support him throughout his health issues. Also, I can forgive my dad for arguing with me every time a doctor tells me that I needed to have this conversation with him. Additionally, I have to forgive him for not making these arrangements earlier, so that I wasn't faced with filling out the DNR forms on my dad and related guilt. After lots of prayerful consideration, Jesus has shown me that my dad is confused, at times, which affects his judgment related to these topics. .

 If Christ freely forgives me for all the self-serving and sinful things that I do, then I can surely forgive myself for filling out the DNR form at the Veteran's Home, because Dad would not like to be kept alive for an extended period of time on a life support system in a near comatose state. After lots of prayerful consideration, Jesus has shown me, that forgiving myself was the most difficult of all of these, but if Jesus forgives me, then He would want me to forgive myself. Throughout all of this, I wouldn't trade any of the minutes with my dad, who has been a true blessing in my life, despite his resistance to addressing these topics.  Debbie

 Caregiving Video: Monday Mojo for Caregivers
By: Chris McClellan, Alzheimer's Care Resource Center via You Tube

Being Badgered by Well-Meaning Doctors: Part III

The proverbs of Solomon. a wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1

Part III: You would not believe how many times I've been approached by doctors when I've taken my dad to the hospital in the last two years. They see my dad, who has Parkinson's Disease and has lost lots of weight. I think they feel sorry for him in that he can't stand without help and his skin just hangs off of his body. Almost every time, the doctors ask me about whether I have a Durable Power of Attorney or a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Order for my dad.

 Recently, Dad had to be taken to a hospital. He had been taking antibiotics at the Veteran's Home for his pneumonia and appeared to be almost over it, but he spiked a fever and was rushed to the hospital. Dad had a lung infection that is inoperable, probably due to how frail he is and will continue to have this periodically until it gets the best of him. The doctor impressed on me how vitally important it is for me to have a Do Not Resuscitate Order and a Durable Power of Attorney. After I explained that my dad doesn't want either of those, the doctor continued to impress on me four or five times, the importance of the DNR, with increasing urgency in his voice, saying that I had to get this so my dad didn't have to experience this terrible outcome, otherwise. He told me that Dad's not able to make this decision for himself and I had to do it.

After assurances from the Veteran's Home that they would not proceed with the DNR Order on my dad unless he was no longer breathing or his heart had stopped, I eventually filled out the DNR form. They never pressured me in the least and were very supportive.  The reason I'm writing this, is that the Well-Meaning Doctors may not always realize what an detrimental effect they may have on the family members. I have had some of the worst times with my dad because he would get angry any time I tried to discuss a Durable Power of Attorney or a DNR with him no matter how calmly I approached the topic. After I filled out the form where my dad lives, my stomach was tied up in knots for a week. I have spent many sleepless nights, shed tears, have been irritable with others, and feel like my heart is being torn in two. It has been the most gut-wrenching part about caregiving for my father, but I am A Christian Caregiver, and I don't let that get the best of me. I keep trying to do everything I can to enjoy every minute of being with my dad that I can. I can't let the badgering get the best of me and have to continue to focus on how very blessed I've been to have my dad with me all this time! To be continued...

Caregiving Video: Note to Self, an Inspirational Film for Caregivers
Molly Cox Ziton, Annie Glasgow, Dr. Dale Anderson, Judy Berry, Mary Yaeger via You Tube



Being Badgered by Well-Meaning Doctors: Part II

The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1

Part II: You would not believe how many times I've been approached by doctors when I've taken my dad to the hospital in the last two years. They see my dad, who has Parkinson's Disease and has lost lots of weight. I think they feel sorry for him in that he can't stand without help and his skin just hangs off of his body. Almost every time, the doctors ask me about whether I have a Durable Power of Attorney or a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Order for my dad.

 Recently, Dad had to be taken to a hospital. He had been taking antibiotics at the Veteran's Home for his pneumonia and appeared to be almost over it, but he spiked a fever and was rushed to the hospital. Dad had a lung infection that is inoperable, probably due to how frail he is and will continue to have this periodically until it gets the best of him. The doctor impressed on me how vitally important it is for me to have a Do Not Resuscitate Order and a Durable Power of Attorney. After I explained that my dad doesn't want either of those, the doctor continued to impress on me four or five times, the importance of the DNR, with increasing urgency in his voice, saying that I had to get this so my dad didn't have to experience this terrible outcome, otherwise. He told me that Dad's not able to make this decision for himself and I had to do it.

Then, to top it off, that doctor had an associate doctor call me at home two nights later, telling me again, how important it was for me to get a DNR for my dad and how my dad would have to live on a breathing machine for the rest of his life in a somewhat comatose condition if they tried to resuscitate him. Being prayerful about all of this, I typed up something that said I agreed to a DNR if my dad was likely to have to live on a life support system, and got it notarized, but they wouldn't accept it.

I had one of the nurses come talk to my dad with me for an hour, trying to explain the importance of the DNR, but he didn't want it. He thought she was trying to sign him up for some type of life insurance policy. I finally had my dad talk on the phone to my sister-in-law, who is a nurse. She was able to get Dad to verbally tell her that he didn't want to live on a life support system. To Be Continued...

 How to Relieve the Stress of Caring for an Aging Parent: Amy O'Rourke at TEDxOrlando 
By: Amy O'Rourke, TEDxOrlando via You Tube


Being Badgered by Well-Meaning Doctors: Part I

The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1

You would not believe how many times I've been approached by doctors when I've taken my dad to the hospital in the last two years. They see my dad as incapable, because he has Parkinson's Disease and has lost lots of weight. I think they feel sorry for him in that he can't stand without help and his skin just hangs off of his body. Almost every time, the doctors ask me about whether I have a Durable Power of Attorney or a Do Not Resuscitate Order (DNR) for my dad.

 When I tell them no and that Dad doesn't want do any of these, in fact he's been adamant about this over the years, they continue to tell me why I need to make my dad understand the importance of these legal documents. Some of these well-meaning doctors have made me feel negligent that I am unable to get my dad to agree to these. Dad doesn't want these and every discussion with him on this topic ends up in an argument. I'm not totally sure why, but I think he's read articles about children who are after their parent's money and they take over their parent's finances, homes, etc. and the aging parent is helpless to fend for themselves against these money grubbers.

I even tried to explain to him that he stayed with us a year and we never charged him anything, thinking that he would better understand that we weren't money grubbers. The more you talk about a topic to my dad, the more he thinks that you have an ulterior motive. In the last year since he's been in the group home and then the Veteran's Home, I bring him his bank statement each month. I want him to see that the only money that's taken out of his account is for his medical bills, prescriptions, and his housing, due to the Parkinson's. Does my dad feel more trusting and willing to discuss the topics of Durable Power of Attorney or a DNR, after he sees that we don't take any of his money? No! I've tried and tried until I'm blue in the face, because the doctors tell me how important these are with Dad's medical condition.  Although this is a tough topic for me to discuss. I still feel blessed to have this time with my dad, stubbornness and all. ..To Be Continued

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

 Caregiving Video: Family 411: Examining Parental Duties: Sandwich Generation

WKEF & WRGT Sheila Gray, Dr. Julie Schaefer, Jenny Mac Dougall, Kathy Smith via You Tube



Sometimes, It Just Hurts!

A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke. Proverbs 13:1

I don't know why, but if I bring my dad a plate of food, try to help him, or make a suggestion, he will get angry with me. Sometimes, it just hurts! I'm not sure why he does this, but in trying to be of support to my dad, I try to hear the instruction that my Heavenly Father has for me in these situations.

When I'm prayerful about these things, I think that my dad's abrupt and sometimes rude response has more to do with his denial of his health issues. He so wants to be independent and capable as he once was a couple of years ago. He doesn't want to be dependent on his daughter bringing him food or cutting it up small enough. He doesn't want someone having to assist him, because he has Parkinson's Disease and can't do it on his own. He doesn't want someone giving him helpful suggestions, because he wants his old life back. He wants his autonomy, where people are concerned about how much he eats and when, and whether he's holding on to the walker properly.

I have to remember how terribly difficult it must be for someone to have to deal with giving up so much of their way of life in order to survive. According to the feeling I get when I'm prayerful about this, I have to not let his anger get to me, because that just makes us both feel bad. He's having a difficult time adjusting and sometimes, I have to just stand in the wings and let my husband or staff assist him, as needed. Maintaining Dad's dignity is much more important than soothing my hurt feelings. I am so very, very blessed to have all of this extra time with my dad.  A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke. Proverbs 13:1

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Caregiver Self-Care/ Healthy Caregiver Tips
By: Sunrise Senior Living, Paul & Terry Klaasen via You Tube

My Dad Has the Right Idea About Politics

Romans 12: 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

I realize that this post is going to come out long after the Presidential Race is decided. It has kept me on pins and needles, because I'm concerned about the future of our country. When this political race gets the best of me, I have to remind myself to put it into God's very capable hands, but it doesn't seem long before I weary myself about it again. That's not God's failing, that's mine for continuing to worry after He's taken it away from me.

About a week ago, I mentioned something to my dad about the political race, to see if he wanted to watch anything about it on TV. Actually, it was so I could see what was going on politically, although I was using the pretense of doing it for my dad. These blog posts are always so eye-opening for me, because God shows me my very human nature, that I really would rather overlook. Fortunately for me, that Christ cares enough about me to show me what I truly need to know about myself.

 Anyway, my dad wasn't interested in the least to watch anything political on the TV. He would much rather watch a show on the Gold Rush and Alaska, which are his type of shows. (My dad had the right idea about politics and wasn't going to worry about it.) I was a little surprised by his lack of enthusiasm over the political situation. There was a time, years ago, where Dad would have had a heated discussion about politics and had very strong views, usually the complete opposite of mine. I knew better than to argue with him back then. For one, a great thing about our country is that everyone is allowed to decide who they think is the best candidate for President, or for any other office, for that matter. Two, I just don't believe in arguing, especially with your parents. Romans 12: 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Seniors Count
By: Serving Seniors via You Tube

Ground Food, Yuk!

My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Proverbs 6:20

My dad is at the Veteran's Home, but he was getting ground food, because he's a choking risk and had lost ten pounds since he started. For me to lose ten pounds might not be a major thing, but for my dad who weighs next to nothing to lose ten pounds, it's a pretty major thing.

I had so much to be prayerful about. If I put my dad back on regular food, he could choke and die. If I kept my dad on the ground food and he didn't eat it, because it wasn't appealing or he was embarrassed to eat it in front of the other residents, he could still die. It seemed to me that his death was more eminent through his starving to death, because he wouldn't eat the ground food.

So after prayerful consideration, I talked to the nurse in charge of his floor. I had to sign a wavier, so that he would go back to cut-up food/chopped instead of ground or pureed. Once his food looked more like normal, my dad started eating again and even gained some weight back, although he's grossly underweight. I'm just glad to see him eating. It may not add years to his life, but it will add some time and I just want to enjoy every minute of it that I can. I have been so blessed to have had this extra time with my dad.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.


Leaving an Inheritance

A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just. Proverbs 13:22

My dad didn't sell his mother's house all those years after she passed, because he wanted it to be an inheritance for his children. He fixed it up and rented it to renters who didn't appreciate all he had done. Time after time, he would have to go in and repair the rental, but always with the idea of it being an inheritance for his children.

Many times I tried to talk my dad into selling the house and take a trip with his wife or for them to do something fun with the money. I hated to see him fretting about repairing and renting the house of  those who did not respect his efforts of time, money, and sweat that went into keeping this house as an inheritance.

My dad was trying to do exactly what this Bible verse says. I'm not sure as I would have been as patient and kept as focused on his end goal as my dad has been. We have all been very blessed to have had him in our lives. A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just. Proverbs 13:22

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: 5 Tips to Become a Better Caregiver- Tips for Dementia Caregivers
By: Cindy Keith, M.I.N.D. ( Moving In Nurturing Directions) via You Tube

Protective of My Dad's Dignity

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

For the most part, Dad has gotten absolutely outstanding care. We've been very blessed! This one time, we went to a different hospital and that wasn't the case. The young nurse tried to get my dad up which is near impossible to do without another person, because he has Parkinson's Disease. 

 She tapped him in the stomach and said that he just needs more physical therapy and needs to get stronger so he could get up. Well, although he's had physical therapy, he's not able to get up on his own and when he does, he generally falls on the floor. He has had a hip replaced to prove it.

 Several of the younger nurses wouldn't try to get Dad up and take him to the bathroom, because it's not easy to move him around, because his body gets rigid. They would shove a bedpan under him and leave it there for a period of time, which undermined his ability to dedicate, something he really needed to do.

 I have to remember that these nurses just weren't experienced with patients with Parkinson's Disease. I know it's not easy to maneuver my dad, although he only weighs about 130, because his legs become rigid. We have checked into finding a more Senior Friendly hospital for him to go to next time. In the meantime, I need to forgive the nurses. They try hard and the experience will come with time. I was concerned that some of the comments from the one nurse were possibly hurtful to my dad and I'm protective of him and his dignity.  

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.



A Lesson Learned!

A fool despiseth his father's instruction: but he that regardeth reproof is prudent. Proverbs 15:5

My father always told me not to shuffle my feet when I was younger. He would have me walk back and forth practicing raising my feet when I walk. Having fallen more times that I would like to admit, I realize that I was defiant back then and shuffled my feet every time I could. I Cut Off My Nose to Spite My Face, as the saying goes.

 It seems that this has been true in so many other situations with Dad. The doctor's or the nurses tell me something is important, needs to be tended to right then. I take it to heart to try to address those issues in Dad's care, but he isn't concerned about it and puts it off on the back burner, something that has caused me frustration, at times.

 The reason that I'm writing about this is that more often than not, Dad was right. In hind sight, the issue didn't need to be addressed yet and/or resolved itself with out my interceding. I find that pretty amazing, since I was trying to listen to the urgency of medical professionals and thought I was trying to accomplish what was right when I should have listened to Dad-a lesson learned!

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Video: Medicine Cabinet Safety Check-Senior Care Corner Family Caregiver Video Tips
By: Kathy, SeniorCareCorner.com, via You Tube

Hanging On by a Thread and a Prayer

Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. Acts 5:29


 I was watching a movie about a week ago. It wasn't necessarily my kind of movie, but the main character's dad died within the first five minutes of the movie and I couldn't change the channel. I actually could have, but felt drawn to that show since my dad is ailing and is hanging on by a thread and a prayer. While I watched riveted to that movie as the different members responded to their grief differently, I ate a whole large bag of light popcorn!

It's been almost two years ago that he moved here for us to help take care of him, because he has Parkinson's Disease. During that time, he eventually had to move to a group home after a stint in rehab following pneumonia, because the doctor's said that we were no longer able to offer him enough medical support. He lived there for quite a while. I was very blessed, because it was in my town and I could go visit him every day, because I missed him so!

Nine months after that earlier episode, Dad had to go to the hospital again with pneumonia. We thought that was the end of that, but were mistaken. It was about five days after he returned home from the hospital that we had to take him back again, because he had pneumonia in his other lung. At the end of his stay there, the doctor said that my dad needed to be in a facility that had skilled nursing. I was very sad to even consider him leaving the group home where they took such good care of him.

What I was most sad about was his leaving me! We had Dad in the local nursing home for rehab after his earlier bout of pneumonia nine months earlier. Not only was it extremely expensive after the 20 days that Medicare pays, but Dad would have had to pay that for a shared room. After prayerful consideration, we decided he should go to the State Veteran's Home which is an hour away. That way, he could still get the skilled nursing and the private room he wanted for the same amount of money it cost in the group home.

During this time, I changed my mind so many times. I had talked myself into believing it was best for Dad to be here with me rather than an hour away in the State Veteran's Home. Then, during prayer, Christ tugged on my heart about my asking what He wanted us to do for Dad. I thought about how a private room had become available for Dad at the State Veteran's Home when it never was available when we had checked before. I was listening to my own selfish nature instead of listening to what God knew was best for Dad. Fortunately, through that prayer, Christ redirected my thinking and we took Dad to the State Veteran's Home. He loves it there! About 2/3 or more of the residents are wheelchair bound and I think it makes him feel better about being in a wheelchair. Dad's still hanging on by a thread and a prayer, but I'm so glad that I finally listened instead of relying on my own desires. Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men. Acts 5:29
Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Care Giving Club Me Time Monday Tip- "How To" Home Safety Tips
By: Sherry Snelling, caregivingclub via You Tube

Let's Pack Up

John 15:10 If ye keep My commandments, ye shall abide in My love;  even as I have kept My Father’s commandments, and abide in His love.

I had a nice visit with my dad earlier in the day, so I was surprised to get a phone call to come back to the group home, because Dad wants to pack everything up and leave. I knew that the owner had been talking to a woman while I was there about her husband coming to live there. Dad's saying this got me to worrying. At the time, I was typing one of these posts and told them that I would be there in twenty minutes. That allowed me enough time to finish the post, close out, and high-tail it over to the group home.

When I got there, he was telling me that he wanted to pack up all the pictures, war ribbons, etc. that I had put up on the wall for him, I had a difficult time trying to figure out what was causing him to want to leave now. I tried to explain that he had already paid his rent for the new month and so he should plan to stay right where he was.

I first thought that his pain meds were messing with his mind, but his concerns were based on several discussions he overheard about the new person moving there. He was certain they were going to move into his room and he wouldn't have a place to stay. After lots of reassuring from the staff and from me, he realized that he had nothing to fear and could stay in his room. John 15:10 If ye keep My commandments, ye shall abide in My love;  even as I have kept My Father’s commandments, and abide in His love

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Phrases to Learn for Caregivers [ Fantastic, in my Opinion!!!]
By: Senior Helpers National via You Tube

I Was Weak Alright

Mark 14:38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak. 

I had told the hospital doctor that my dad wanted to return home after leaving the hospital and he told me emphatically that was not going to happen!  He said that my dad had to go to the acute rehab center or to skilled nursing for another two weeks or so.

Well my dad would have to pay out of pocket for the skilled nursing, since he had already used the 20 days that Medicare allows per period of time. The skilled nursing ran $4,710 per month out-of-pocket. Medicare would have covered the acute rehab center, but dad wouldn't qualify because they did three hours of physical therapy a day, which was too rigorous for my dad.

I was beside myself, so all I could do it pray, and pray some more. I sent a text to the contact from the home health services to explain that Dad would be able to return to the group home for two plus weeks. I was trying to find out if we had any other options, because dad couldn't afford to pay for skilled nursing during the same month that he had paid for both the Assisted Living facility and the group home.

That's when God stepped in and worked all types of miracles through many people open to doing His will. The contact from the home health agency drove all the way to our town and talked with the case manager/social worker. The social worker talked to the doctor and the hospital doctor agreed to let my dad go back to the group home, provided that he had a nurse visit him each day for the first two weeks.

I contacted the home health agency to get that in motion, knowing Dad may have to pay for a couple of nurse visits, but that was lots cheaper than going to the nursing home. I had been weak and didn't know what to do, but God provided these people to work a miraculous change in the doctor's heart to allow him to go back home (group home.) Although he's not a spring chicken any more, he's healed pretty well. Mark 14:38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Caregiver Safety- The 5 Basics- Safety Training Video
By: Safety Memo via You Tube

God Helped My Doubt

Mark 9: 23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. 24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.


My daughter and I had gone to see my dad. He told us how good he was feeling. He was proud that he had taken three steps all by himself. I asked if he used his walker, which he hadn't. Of course, I felt compelled to remind him that he should use the walker, wheel chair or get staff to help him if he didn't want to "eat dirt", our pet name for falling.

I talked to my daughter afterward and shared my concern, which was initially difficult for her to understand in that he seemed to be getting along so well. I tried to tell her that it's when he's feeling good like this that he ends up feeling that he can walk again like he used to and doesn't use the walker, etc. for support and falls. It had happened in his short stay in the Assisted Living facility, as well.

I had hoped I was wrong, but unfortunately I wasn't. I got a call from my dad in the evening and he said that he had fallen earlier and he thought he had broken his hip. My husband and I drove over to get him to save him an ambulance expense. With having just paid rent in two facilities concurrently, he couldn't afford many more expenses, if they were avoidable.

We had taken dad to the hospital a week and a day earlier when he thought he broke his other hip, but the X ray said otherwise. I had hoped that was the case this time, as well, but unfortunately it wasn't. he had broken the neck portion that leads to the ball that fits in his left hip socket. They had to admit dad and the surgeon did a partial hip replacement the next morning.

Through all of this, I kept feeling overwhelmed after all Dad had been through in the last couple months and then to have this happen. I was weak and was doubting, but God gave both me and my dad the strength to get through this. Mark 9: 23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. 24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Teepa Snow Discusses the Ten Early Signs of Dementia
By: Teepa Snow, Senior Helpers National, via You Tube

A New Home for Dad- Part 1

Galatians 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

That first night as I sat with my dad in the group home, I listened as my dad commented on how the full wall window view from his room looked like home. He enjoyed the park like setting of the back yard with the rabbits, squirrels and birds to keep him entertained.

 I realized several things. While he was at the group home, he had to pay $3,500 to it and to continue to pay $3,500 to the Assisted Living facility while he was mending in the group home. Now, to some paying $7,000 a month for rent may not seem like a lot, but my goal has been to help my dad's money last as long as he does and it wasn't going to happen if he had to spend $7,000 every time he got out of the hospital to recoup, something that was happening more and more frequently. I did a lot of prayerful contemplating that night.

The other thing that concerned me was that the Assisted Living facility said that they weren't a nursing home and could not accommodate residents with feeding tubes, IVs, etc. Since my dad was down to 129 pounds, those might be things he has to contend with, at some point. That would mean not only the expense of paying in two different places at the same time, but that my dad would have to keep changing residences depending and would never feel like he was home. I really wanted for him to have a sense of home as he progresses through this phase of his life even if it couldn't be in our home. I called the owner of the group home and asked if my dad could stay in that same room if he decided to stay there full-time, and she assured me that he could. I did a lot of prayerful contemplating that night.

The next day, I asked my dad how he liked the new place he was staying in and he really liked it. Next to the backyard view, my dad enjoyed the male employees who would joke around with him which made him feel like one of the guys instead of a patient on the mend. I talked to him about whether he wanted to make the group home his new home, so that he didn't have to bounce around to different facilities every time he gets out of the hospital and needs to mend. He told me that he would like to make the group home his new home.

I called the owner to tell her my dad's decision. My dad was obliged to pay and to give a 30 day notice at the Assisted Living facility, so I gave the manager the 30 day notice and any additional money that was owing. I got the movers scheduled to move the hospital bed we had gotten him and deliver it from the Assisted Living facility and move it to the group home. I was so pleased that God had taken care of this and had my dad make a decision that felt good to him. I was also relieved that my dad had a home base to go to each time he returned from the hospital, so he wasn't bouncing around to different facilities aimlessly. Galatians 5:25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.



An Overwhelming Day-Part 2

1 Thessalonians 3:8 For now we live, if ye stand fast in the Lord.

I had made the plans with the movers to move Dad's bed, night stands, TV, etc. this day from the Assisted Living facility to the group home that he had decided was his new home. They had just pulled up and I got a call from the group home. My dad was throwing up and had diarrhea everywhere. They wanted me there, but the movers were ready to get Dad's things and move them over. I was praying fast between quick decisions, trying to be open to what was best for Dad.

I told the group home that the movers and I would be there in 30-40 minutes. I asked if they could contact the home health service and/or the mobile doctor service that worked with the group home and my dad. I was so thankful they had both in the works.

Fortunately, Dad didn't have many things to move and I had washed down and packed most of the things the day before. It didn't take the two movers very long to pack them up and head over to the group home. As they were wheeling the hospital bed into my dad's room, they were wheeling my sick Dad out of the room to make way for the other bed to be moved out.

Fortunately, the home health and medical professionals found out that the hospital that had recently released my dad hadn't given us a prescription for his antibiotics, which kicked his bowel infection into high gear! I rushed to the pharmacy only to wait 1 1/2 hours while they tried to get the corporate office to give permission to accept my dad's check for the prescription. I had been recently put on the account to pay his bills while in the hospitals and different facilities, but they had company policies to adhere to.

In that 1 1/2 hour period of time, I kept praying because God knew what our needs are and He would take care of them. Eventually, they accepted Dad's check. God worked it out. I finally got back to give them the medicine for my dad. Once he had the antibiotics and the probiotics, so the antibiotics didn't make his stomach upset, he started doing much better. It was a very overwhelming day, but God got us through all of it! 1 Thessalonians 3:8 For now we live, if ye stand fast in the Lord.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.


God Provided for My Dad Even When I Was About to Give Up

Ephesians 6: 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Dad loved the new Assisted Living facility and was getting his home health services there. He felt so strong that he tried to walk without his walker and fell on the tiled bathroom floor. Two days later, he was dehydrated and started talking incoherently and the staff made a 911 call, because they thought he was having a stroke.

It turned out after they ran all the tests, he wasn't having a stroke and was just dehydrated coupled with the fact that he had gotten c-diff, a terribly contagious bowel infection that causes diarrhea and he'd have to be quarantined while he healed. Then we found out that he could not return to the Assisted Living facility while he had it, because the other residents could get it.

That left us with a big dilemma. He could go back to the nursing home that he couldn't afford or we could find alternate housing for him while he healed from the c-diff. I prayed and called and called and prayed trying to find an alternate option for my dad. They said he couldn't come here, because the grandkids would be exposed plus Dad didn't want me helping him with his bathrooming. 

Finally, we were given the suggestion of a group home in town that he could afford, but I was discouraged to find out that it was full. Later that night, a miracle happened. The owner of the group home called and said that she figured out a way, so that my dad could stay there while he healed- a definite prayer answered! Ephesians 6: 10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.


Dad Loved the Assisted Living Facility

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

When Dad got discharged, we thought he smelled like he had recently had a bowel movement, but he said not. He was so excited about going to the new Assisted Living facility, he didn't want anything to interfere with leaving the nursing home.

We had to stop by the bank to arrange for the rent checks to automatically be sent to the Assisted Living facility each month, since Dad had a difficult time writing checks. When we first got there, my husband decided that my dad really needed to use the bathroom. It's a good thing they went, because Dad was covered all over. My husband was very thoughtful to clean up my dad while I made the arrangements for the rent payments to be sent.

He loved the Assisted Living facility and felt a renewed sense of independence. We had gotten him a bigger wall TV because the one we had at home was difficult for him to see with his macular degeneration. It's the happiest I had seen my Dad in a long time. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Caregivers Find Financial Help to Pay for Stroke Medical Bills
By: Kathi Haumann, book by Dr. Steffie Woodhandler via You Tube

They Were Overriding Me

Romans 12: 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

It isn't always easy being a Christian or a Christian Caretaker. The doctor's had told me that Dad only needed to stay in the skilled nursing facility 10-14 days. I even asked if he could be discharged after that time and was given the impression when the contract was signed that he could.

When I had to go for the big discharge meeting, that wasn't the case. They wanted my dad to stay there until he was much better, which had the interpretation of indefinitely. If he had stayed past the 20 days that Medicare provided for him to heal, he would have gone into a shared room with only a curtain that looked like a sheet between him and another person and would be paying out-of-pocket to the tune of $4,710 a month for this shared space.

Fortunately God had me checking on these things prior to the discharge meeting. I found that Dad could live in an Assisted Living facility for far less and have his own room. When they brought up the idea of dad staying on in the long-term stay portion of the nursing home and I told them that we planned for Dad to go to an Assisted Living facility, they suggested a facility that was closer, less expensive and was in our town. (In other words, it was $3,500 instead of $4,710 out-of-pocket, but $1,200 less a month makes a major difference!)

When they knew that we had made up our mind and that Dad could not afford the nursing home, they were agreeable to the idea. They wanted him to stay the full 20 days that Medicare allows for even though I asked them to release him then. They said that he should stay because he would benefit by the extra physical therapy sessions he had. The committee members were overriding me and I felt that there wasn't much I could do and ended up giving in. 

(If I had known then what I know now, I would have put up a bigger fight. Later, when dad had further hospital stays, Dad would have had to pay out of pocket for skilled nursing rehab, because he had already used all 20 days that Medicare had provided. I'm not trying to complain, but feel that if I let readers know this, they will realize that it's sometimes important to not let people talk you into using all your covered Medicare days in case they are needed for further episodes.) Romans 12: 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.


Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Dementia Care in 60 Seconds!-Pay Attention to Personal Care!
By: Ellen Bell with Keep in Mind Inc. 

I Had a Plan...or at Least I Thought

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

I knew that Dad's discharge meeting was scheduled and figured they'd ask him where he wanted to go. Remembering the ordeal we had at the hospital where he wouldn't tell me or the social worker what he wanted to do, I had a plan!

I taped two different rows of three sheets of typing paper together horizontally. On the left sheet, I wrote how much it would cost for Dad to stay in the nursing home and share the room ($4,710). The middle sheet had how much it would cost to stay in an Veteran's Home and the far right sheet had how much it would cost him if he stayed with us ($0 a month).

My dad is someone who tries to be very involved in his finances. I was sure that he would chose moving back in with us after he realized it cost him nothing, but I was wrong. I couldn't figure it out and was beside myself, but needed to respect my dad's wishes. It didn't make any sense to me and I was depressed afterward. I emailed a couple of friends, because I couldn't bear the anguish in having to tell them that my dad chose to live elsewhere.

That's when God showed His hand through those special friends who gave me a different perspective. They shared with me that my dad may have been feeling like he was sparing me. He knew I had a bad back and it became almost impossible to lift him by myself and my husband wasn't always there. Additionally, he didn't like his daughter changing his disposable undergarments, it was a privacy thing. After being prayerful about some of these things God shared through my friends, it made sense to me in a totally different way. Although it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of how hurt I was that he chose not to move in with us, it doesn't hurt so bad because he was doing it out of love.

It did make me realize that I needed to check things out more before I went to the discharge meeting, because my husband didn't want Dad to go to the Veteran's home that was an hour away in a big city. My husband and I got on the computer and made calls and figured that his going to an Assisted Living facility was worth checking in to.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: App Helps Track Medications for Elderly Parents
By: Health Check News 12, Kathleen Stuck and Mary, Home Instead Senior Care, twelvedotv via You Tube

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Relate2TheBible Podcast

Christ's Grace Abounds

Christ's Grace Abounds

Share the Joy Blog

Share the Joy Blog