It's Difficult to Admit I Can't Do It All

But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God: and that believing ye might have life through His name. John 20: 31 

This verse is so very comforting right now. I feel so numb inside. My dad wanted to move in with us a year ago, but has now told us that he would prefer to live in a nursing home. There was a time I would have eaten over this, but just feel empty now!

I don't know if I feel like a failure about not being able to be all my dad needed or to be able to provide all he needed or wanted. I don't know if I feel to blame in some way for not better meeting his needs, although I thought I catered my day around his needs, the best that I could.

I tried to stay informed about best practices for caring for a family member, but no matter how much I tried to make things positive, he still had to deal with having Parkinson's Disease, Macular Degeneration, and other debilitating issues. 

I hate to admit that I have been awake more whole nights than I would like to mention, which means that I am not turning this issue over into my Lord's compassionate arms. I need to focus on Christ's ability to take care of my dad in whatever way is best for him and that I don't have to take that all on, because Christ already has. But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God: and that believing ye might have life through His name. John 20: 31 

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Senior Caregiving: How to Create Joy/The Amy Goyer Vlog/AARP
By: AARP, Amy Goyer via You Tube


He Snapped Back, but it Was Really that He Needed Reassurance

Hear ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. Proverbs 4:1

 When I went in my dad's room, I noticed he was half on the bed with his legs hanging over the side. I asked him if he was getting up, because he might go slip-sliding off the bed again if he hangs off like that. He snapped back that I'm always picking on him, which hurt my feelings, but I had to get my two cents in first, before leaving the room.

In near tears, I prayed, and the feeling that God gave me, which is how He works in my life is that again, I have to remember that my dad has given up so much independence and his ability to move around the way he wants. It's normal that he's not always going to be happy and I need to not take things so personally.

I remember the video I had recently posted: Unhappy Behavior in Seniors by Care Corner. I think this link will take you to the video. She suggested that you talk to the Senior and ask what I can do to help make things better for you. God had it weighing very heavily on my heart that this was a good time to give this a try, so I did.

What I found out was my dad needed some reassurance that he wasn't disrupting our lives. I've found that he needs that periodically. The biggest thing I found was that he was really worried about his taxes. They need to be filed before long and he has Macular Degeneration and can't do all of that himself. It's difficult for him to ask for assistance, but once I knew what was bothering him, it was easy enough to get on the computer and log in his medical expenses, etc. I am so blessed that God guides me through the difficult times and gives me instincts to remedy them. Hear ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. Proverbs 4:1

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.



He Didn't Want Me to Miss Out on the Special Treat

In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6.

We were headed to visit my son and his family. We had missed my husband's favorite fried pie exit, but I needed to use the rest room.  We stopped at a bathroom in a nearby town and found that they had an A & W inside the gas station.

Since we don't see A & W's very often, my dad decided to get a root beer float and my husband got a root beer freeze. They enjoyed these immensely as we drove the rest of the way to my son's house.

On the way home, they wanted stop at A & W again. This time, my dad bought me a float, because he didn't want me to miss out on the special treat. After eating about a third of this, I wondered what I was doing. I knew I had Hypoglycemia and that ice cream often makes me cranky when the effects of the sugar wear off. At first, I thought I'd just have to drink the whole thing, because I didn't want to offend my dad. Part of me didn't mind this in the least, because it tasted really good!

I prayed asking God how I could get rid of the root beer float without hurting my dad's feelings. The thought that was in my mind, which is often how God works in my life, was to see if my dad wanted to drink the rest of mine and he did! It surprised me, because he still had most of his own float left, but God knew the Big Picture and that my dad would take it off of my hands. I was so relieved, because I wanted to avoid being cranky later.In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:6.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Balance Exercises for Seniors
By: Dr. Nick Reiser, Concordia Lutheran Ministries via You Tube

Time to Make a Change

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Since my dad wears disposable undergarments, he is not always aware of when he needs to change them. Sometimes, I can tell from standing near him, but it's difficult to know how to tell your father who prides himself in being independent that he needs to make a change.

Some of the times he had leaky spots on his chair when he got up, I thought that possibly he was getting his disposable undergarments on backwards due to his Macular Degeneration. I started putting a big X on the front of them, so it was easier for him to tell front from back. This eliminated some of the leaks, but not all.

One time, my daughter had been visiting and was getting ready to leave, that she could see wet marks on the back of her grandfather's khaki colored pants as he walked away from her. She told me and I suggested that she say good-bye, so that I can tell him privately that he had sprung a leak. I don't always know how to do this tactfully, but God provides the instincts and words when they are needed. I am truly blessed! Trust in the LORD with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Changing and Disposing of an Adult Diaper
By: WellSpringDirect via You Tube

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