Dad Loved the Assisted Living Facility

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

When Dad got discharged, we thought he smelled like he had recently had a bowel movement, but he said not. He was so excited about going to the new Assisted Living facility, he didn't want anything to interfere with leaving the nursing home.

We had to stop by the bank to arrange for the rent checks to automatically be sent to the Assisted Living facility each month, since Dad had a difficult time writing checks. When we first got there, my husband decided that my dad really needed to use the bathroom. It's a good thing they went, because Dad was covered all over. My husband was very thoughtful to clean up my dad while I made the arrangements for the rent payments to be sent.

He loved the Assisted Living facility and felt a renewed sense of independence. We had gotten him a bigger wall TV because the one we had at home was difficult for him to see with his macular degeneration. It's the happiest I had seen my Dad in a long time. Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Caregivers Find Financial Help to Pay for Stroke Medical Bills
By: Kathi Haumann, book by Dr. Steffie Woodhandler via You Tube

They Were Overriding Me

Romans 12: 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

It isn't always easy being a Christian or a Christian Caretaker. The doctor's had told me that Dad only needed to stay in the skilled nursing facility 10-14 days. I even asked if he could be discharged after that time and was given the impression when the contract was signed that he could.

When I had to go for the big discharge meeting, that wasn't the case. They wanted my dad to stay there until he was much better, which had the interpretation of indefinitely. If he had stayed past the 20 days that Medicare provided for him to heal, he would have gone into a shared room with only a curtain that looked like a sheet between him and another person and would be paying out-of-pocket to the tune of $4,710 a month for this shared space.

Fortunately God had me checking on these things prior to the discharge meeting. I found that Dad could live in an Assisted Living facility for far less and have his own room. When they brought up the idea of dad staying on in the long-term stay portion of the nursing home and I told them that we planned for Dad to go to an Assisted Living facility, they suggested a facility that was closer, less expensive and was in our town. (In other words, it was $3,500 instead of $4,710 out-of-pocket, but $1,200 less a month makes a major difference!)

When they knew that we had made up our mind and that Dad could not afford the nursing home, they were agreeable to the idea. They wanted him to stay the full 20 days that Medicare allows for even though I asked them to release him then. They said that he should stay because he would benefit by the extra physical therapy sessions he had. The committee members were overriding me and I felt that there wasn't much I could do and ended up giving in. 

(If I had known then what I know now, I would have put up a bigger fight. Later, when dad had further hospital stays, Dad would have had to pay out of pocket for skilled nursing rehab, because he had already used all 20 days that Medicare had provided. I'm not trying to complain, but feel that if I let readers know this, they will realize that it's sometimes important to not let people talk you into using all your covered Medicare days in case they are needed for further episodes.) Romans 12: 18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.


Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: Dementia Care in 60 Seconds!-Pay Attention to Personal Care!
By: Ellen Bell with Keep in Mind Inc. 

I Had a Plan...or at Least I Thought

Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

I knew that Dad's discharge meeting was scheduled and figured they'd ask him where he wanted to go. Remembering the ordeal we had at the hospital where he wouldn't tell me or the social worker what he wanted to do, I had a plan!

I taped two different rows of three sheets of typing paper together horizontally. On the left sheet, I wrote how much it would cost for Dad to stay in the nursing home and share the room ($4,710). The middle sheet had how much it would cost to stay in an Veteran's Home and the far right sheet had how much it would cost him if he stayed with us ($0 a month).

My dad is someone who tries to be very involved in his finances. I was sure that he would chose moving back in with us after he realized it cost him nothing, but I was wrong. I couldn't figure it out and was beside myself, but needed to respect my dad's wishes. It didn't make any sense to me and I was depressed afterward. I emailed a couple of friends, because I couldn't bear the anguish in having to tell them that my dad chose to live elsewhere.

That's when God showed His hand through those special friends who gave me a different perspective. They shared with me that my dad may have been feeling like he was sparing me. He knew I had a bad back and it became almost impossible to lift him by myself and my husband wasn't always there. Additionally, he didn't like his daughter changing his disposable undergarments, it was a privacy thing. After being prayerful about some of these things God shared through my friends, it made sense to me in a totally different way. Although it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of how hurt I was that he chose not to move in with us, it doesn't hurt so bad because he was doing it out of love.

It did make me realize that I needed to check things out more before I went to the discharge meeting, because my husband didn't want Dad to go to the Veteran's home that was an hour away in a big city. My husband and I got on the computer and made calls and figured that his going to an Assisted Living facility was worth checking in to.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Caregiving Video: App Helps Track Medications for Elderly Parents
By: Health Check News 12, Kathleen Stuck and Mary, Home Instead Senior Care, twelvedotv via You Tube

Just a Pleasant Sunday

Galatians 3:26 Fore ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

Someone from the skilled nursing facility had called me to discuss ways to get my dad more involved in activities in the nursing home. During the conversation, she mentioned that there was going to be some type of entertainment on Sunday at 2 p.m. My husband and I talked about it and decided that we were going to try to go and take Dad with us.

We got there and rolled Dad into the cafeteria area to listen to this person who gave their Sunday afternoon to sing for us. He sang hymns, country songs, old favorites, etc. He had recorded background music that played when he sang. 

It's difficult for me, at times, because my dad lived with us every day for almost a year. My house seems so empty without him. He came all this way to spend time with us and I don't want to leave him in some facility all alone. It was such a pleasant, relaxing Sunday together with the three of us sitting and enjoying the music. Galatians 3:26 Fore ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.

Video: Childhood Obesity in Ireland-Prof Clodagh O'Gorman, Chair of Pediatrics, UL
by: Professor Clodagh O'Gorman, UniversityofLimerick via You Tube



Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Relate2TheBible Podcast

Christ's Grace Abounds

Christ's Grace Abounds

Share the Joy Blog

Share the Joy Blog