Trying to Push Through Anyway!

John 6: 33 For the bread of God is He which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world. 34 Then said they unto Him, Lord, evermore give us this bread. 35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to Me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on Me shall never thirst. 

These are pretty amazing words, although I was thinking of it in a different way right now. After Dad's death, I tried to all the things that needed to be done in one day. I worked all day until late in the night, barely stopping to eat, which is unusual for me.

It didn't matter that I skipped meals, there was no way that I could possibly get everything done in one day, although I really gave it my best shot. When I get into the I's and Me's thinking, I'm not focusing on Christ's will for me. He wouldn't want me ignoring my family or eating to get this all done. In fact, most days when I worked so hard at trying to get it all done, I ended up with the pains in my head. 

It's a good indicator that I needed to let go of the I's and Me's and what I had planned, what I wanted to get done and listen when Christ lets me know that it was enough for now. I needed to trust the instincts that He gives me rather than push right through on my own timing.

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse/s. Debbie
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Pains in My Head that Christ Takes Away

Matthew 11: 28 Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.

I always got frustrated when I would see shows or hear of people being money-grubby after the loss of a family member. I never wanted to be this way, but Dad left the money in my name, I think knowing that I would disperse it like he would have wanted.

 The thing is, when I was dealing with how to do this with minimal instruction from my dad before he passed, it would weigh on me and go through my mind over and over, trying to make the right decisions on Dad's behalf. Inevitably, I would get pains in my head.

 One time, I thought it was because I hadn't had enough salt, since my cardiologist told me that I don't tend to get enough. So, I, having a tendency to overcompensate, ate about half a bag or so of tortilla chips. Not only did I still have the pains in my head, but my stomach didn't feel so good, either.  I have found that when I get the pains in my head when dealing with my dad's finances or possessions, I have to keep turning it over to Christ, Who doesn't want me to worry about things. If I turned more things over into His very capable hands, I probably wouldn't get the pains in my head. 
Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse/s. Debbie
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That Wasn't What Christ or My Dad Would Have Wanted

Matthew 5: 44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you: 45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. 46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? Do not even the publicans the same?

After Dad had passed, they had a procession at the Veteran's Home and the majority of the staff came to witness Dad's final departure from the Veteran's Home. It was extremely moving, a tribute fit for a veteran.

After it was over, the majority of the staff standing outside came up and gave me a hug, whether I knew them or not. I told each of them, "Thank you for all you did for my Dad and all the other veterans." I said that regardless, because some of those people might have worked with Dad on different shifts, so I wanted to make sure I acknowledged all they did.

I could see this one administrative person standing down at the end of the other staff. It quickly flashed back that this person was the one who continued to try to deny my dad Physical Therapy service and want him to go on Hospice services way before it was ever necessary. I have to admit that I had a flash of resentment when I saw him there. All the other administrators and physical therapy staff were outstanding, like extended family. I was surprised when he came up to give me a hug. For a split second I wanted to be Catty, it seemed so very hypocritical that he should be there, but I knew that wasn't what Christ or my dad would have wanted, so I gave him a hug and said, "Thank you for all you did for my Dad and all the other veterans." There would have been a time when I would have eaten over something like this or held on to resentments, but Christ didn't want that either. I left feeling good that Dad will join God in heaven and I had no remorse about the interaction with that administrator.

Because these posts are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my life, they don't necessarily reflect the whole meaning of the Bible verse/s. Debbie

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Shoes, Figures, and Dates

Romans 5:21 That as sin hath reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.

I think I'm doing just fine, then Christ shows me that I'm really not. The other day, my husband hired someone to repair some things. I came out to get my breakfast to take back to the bedroom and eat, so I wasn't in the middle of the repairs. I looked at my left foot to figure out why it was hurting. It turned out that I had two totally different shoes on!

 Then, I was trying to calculate some things and found I made lots of errors that I had to go back and correct afterward. Also, there's the matter of posting somewhere between 6 to 8 blogs on the wrong date. Fortunately, Christ had it dawn on me that I had done that, so I could rectify it today. 

 It's like Christ keeps showing me that I'm not as fine as I think. He's showing me that I am hiding behind the business of dividing Dad's things, finances, writing thank you cards, etc. to avoid dealing with my loss. I really miss my dad, which really surprises me how much, because I'm very happy he's in heaven. I'm very happy he passed peacefully. I'm very happy my family was there to support me through this. I have had doctors and nurses trying to prepare me for the last four or five years that Dad wasn't going to make it much longer. I feel so very blessed to have had the last 5+ years with Dad through this phase of his life, so why am I so sad when I have so many things that I'm happy about? I miss my Dad....
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