Posts on Thursday mornings.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Being Badgered by Well-Meaning Doctors: Part I

The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. Proverbs 10:1

You would not believe how many times I've been approached by doctors when I've taken my dad to the hospital in the last two years. They see my dad as incapable, because he has Parkinson's Disease and has lost lots of weight. I think they feel sorry for him in that he can't stand without help and his skin just hangs off of his body. Almost every time, the doctors ask me about whether I have a Durable Power of Attorney or a Do Not Resuscitate Order (DNR) for my dad.

 When I tell them no and that Dad doesn't want do any of these, in fact he's been adamant about this over the years, they continue to tell me why I need to make my dad understand the importance of these legal documents. Some of these well-meaning doctors have made me feel negligent that I am unable to get my dad to agree to these. Dad doesn't want these and every discussion with him on this topic ends up in an argument. I'm not totally sure why, but I think he's read articles about children who are after their parent's money and they take over their parent's finances, homes, etc. and the aging parent is helpless to fend for themselves against these money grubbers.

I even tried to explain to him that he stayed with us a year and we never charged him anything, thinking that he would better understand that we weren't money grubbers. The more you talk about a topic to my dad, the more he thinks that you have an ulterior motive. In the last year since he's been in the group home and then the Veteran's Home, I bring him his bank statement each month. I want him to see that the only money that's taken out of his account is for his medical bills, prescriptions, and his housing, due to the Parkinson's. Does my dad feel more trusting and willing to discuss the topics of Durable Power of Attorney or a DNR, after he sees that we don't take any of his money? No! I've tried and tried until I'm blue in the face, because the doctors tell me how important these are with Dad's medical condition.  Although this is a tough topic for me to discuss. I still feel blessed to have this time with my dad, stubbornness and all. ..To Be Continued

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.
 Caregiving Video: Family 411: Examining Parental Duties: Sandwich Generation

WKEF & WRGT Sheila Gray, Dr. Julie Schaefer, Jenny Mac Dougall, Kathy Smith via You Tube

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