Part III: You would not believe how many times I've been approached by doctors when I've taken my dad to the hospital in the last two years. They see my dad, who has Parkinson's Disease and has lost lots of weight. I think they feel sorry for him in that he can't stand without help and his skin just hangs off of his body. Almost every time, the doctors ask me about whether I have a Durable Power of Attorney or a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Order for my dad.
Recently, Dad had to be taken to a hospital. He had been taking antibiotics at the Veteran's Home for his pneumonia and appeared to be almost over it, but he spiked a fever and was rushed to the hospital. Dad had a lung infection that is inoperable, probably due to how frail he is and will continue to have this periodically until it gets the best of him. The doctor impressed on me how vitally important it is for me to have a Do Not Resuscitate Order and a Durable Power of Attorney. After I explained that my dad doesn't want either of those, the doctor continued to impress on me four or five times, the importance of the DNR, with increasing urgency in his voice, saying that I had to get this so my dad didn't have to experience this terrible outcome, otherwise. He told me that Dad's not able to make this decision for himself and I had to do it.
After assurances from the Veteran's Home that they would not proceed with the DNR Order on my dad unless he was no longer breathing or his heart had stopped, I eventually filled out the DNR form. They never pressured me in the least and were very supportive. The reason I'm writing this, is that the Well-Meaning Doctors may not always realize what an detrimental effect they may have on the family members. I have had some of the worst times with my dad because he would get angry any time I tried to discuss a Durable Power of Attorney or a DNR with him no matter how calmly I approached the topic. After I filled out the form where my dad lives, my stomach was tied up in knots for a week. I have spent many sleepless nights, shed tears, have been irritable with others, and feel like my heart is being torn in two. It has been the most gut-wrenching part about caregiving for my father, but I am A Christian Caregiver, and I don't let that get the best of me. I keep trying to do everything I can to enjoy every minute of being with my dad that I can. I can't let the badgering get the best of me and have to continue to focus on how very blessed I've been to have my dad with me all this time! To be continued...
Caregiving Video: Note to Self, an Inspirational Film for Caregivers
Molly Cox Ziton, Annie Glasgow, Dr. Dale Anderson, Judy Berry, Mary Yaeger via You Tube
