I Didn't Want to Know the Answer

For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law. When I was my father's son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, He also taught me, and said to me: "Let your heart retain my words Keep my commands, and live. Get wisdom! Get understanding! Do not forget, nor turn away from the words of my mouth. Proverbs 4:2-5

As I was typing these blog posts ahead and schedule to post at another time, I couldn't keep my mind from thinking about how sunken my dad's cheeks were when we went to see him last Thursday. He had weighed 132 pounds which was devastating to me. Then the next couple of times they weighed Dad, they said he weighed 148.

Some time before that, a nurse told me that sometimes the weight recorded is skewed, because they weigh him in his wheelchair and forget to take off the amount that his leg supports weigh. I knew it was too good to be true, but I didn't want to know the answer.

Anyway, I was thinking about how sunken in my dad's cheeks were on Thursday and debated calling the Veteran's Home to find out his current weight, but I didn't want to know the answer. After much nudging from God on my heart, I finally called. I was told my dad now weighs 129.8 ponds. It's gone past the 130 mark which already seemed terrible. I've got to focus on how much I enjoy spending time with my dad and how blessed I've been to have all this time with him, rather than focusing on what lies ahead.

Caregiver Guilt- Memory and Alzheimer's Disease
By: Peter Rabins, Johns Hopkins Medicine via You Tube



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I Wished That I Listened Better

Hear, My children, the instruction of a father, And give attention to know understanding; Proverbs 4:1

This passage reminds me of how my dad used to always tell me not to scuffle my feet when I walk. He used to have me walk back and forth practicing, so that he knew I could walk without scuffling. Unfortunately, the stubborn part of me would deliberately go back to scuffling as soon as Dad wasn't around. I inherited this stubbornness from my dad and not his sense of humor, which would have served me much better over the years!

In hind sight, it would have been beneficial to have listened to Dad instead of walking off in a huff scuffling my feet all the way! I have herniated discs from falling. I broke my heel last year from falling and have fallen other times more than I can count. 

This reminds me of my faith walk with Christ. Christ gives me certain rules to live by and instincts along the way about particular situations. Do I always listen or do I cover my ears and scuffle down the hall out of stubbornness? Unfortunately, I have to say that sometimes I've done the latter, but want to be much more open to listening to my heavenly Father than I have always been to my earthly one!

Caregiver Training: Refusal to Bathe/UCLA Alzheimer's and Dementia Care
by: UCLA Health via You Tube



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Some of Dad's Many Qualities

The wise shall inherit glory, but shame shall be the legacy of fools. Proverbs 3:35

This passage makes me think about what my dad's legacy will be when he's no longer with us. Somehow, I'm hoping that this will help me feel better as my dad slowly loses more weight. 

My dad has always been a very principled man. He lived by those principles and people admired him for it. He, also, has been very loyal. He would stand my someone through thick and thin. My dad has a funny sense of humor, something that I didn't inherit, unfortunately. He can say something and have people rolling in the aisles! He's a real character, at times!

Additionally, my dad is very smart. No, he didn't have a college degree, but he made inventions. He adapted machinery and other things to make it serve a new or better purpose than it originally did. 

Dad has always loved gardening and preserving his produce from his backyard, prior to moving here. Dad loves to play games like Dominoes and Solitaire and has done so with his great-grandchildren. Dad's an excellent strategical player in these games. 

My dad is stubborn to a fault which is both good and bad, at times. This stubbornness keeps my dad from giving up easily on things. Sometimes, I think that's why Dad's lived so long, but then I remember that God is in control of how long we all live. I just feel blessed that I've gotten to spend all this extra time with my dad, stubborn or not! 

Alzheimer's Disease: A Caregiver's Perspective
by: Demystifying Medicine, Zunaira Tariq, Hailey Leroux, Semir Bulle and Shatha Jaber 
via You Tube



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Dad's Cousin Broke Her Collar Bone

The curse of the Lord is on the house of the wicked, But He blesses the home of the just. Surely He scorns the scornful, But gives grace to the humble. Proverbs 3:33-34

We went to go see Dad at the Veteran's Home and have lunch as we do every week. I knew that his cousin had fallen and had broken her collar bone. Every time I call her, she asks how Dad is doing, so knew it would brighten her day to talk to Dad.

When I asked Dad about calling his cousin, he let me know he wasn't really in the mood to talk on the phone, which often is the case. My dad has never really liked talking on the phone much. I tried to prayerfully assess what I should do.

Fortunately, God gave me the instinct to pursue it further. I explained to Dad that she had recently broken her collar bone and that it would really mean a lot to her if she got to talk to him. My dad was gracious when I knew he didn't want to talk on the phone and let me know it was O.K. to call her. I'm so very glad we did it. It meant a lot to her and I think it meant a lot to my dad, as well. 

Caregiver Training: Repetitive Questions/UCLA Alzheimer's and Dementia Care Program
by UCLA via You Tube



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