Back to Dad...Solitaire

My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9

I've overseen my dad's care for the last four and a half years. He first moved in with us for the first year, but doctors said that he needed more medical care. They eventually said that the group home he was living in couldn't provide the 24/7 medical care Dad needed that he could get in a skilled nursing facility. Fortunately, there was an available room for Dad at the State Veteran's Home.

Although I had become a caregivee myself when I broke my heel, my husband continued to take me to go visit Dad in the Veteran's Home each week. Dad and I would play Dad's Solitaire. I know there's a bajillion of different Solitaire games, but all I know is this is the one that Dad played for the last 30 or 40 years. He used to play it every day, but now we tried to play it whenever we could we came to visit him.

Solitaire was such a productive game on so many levels. For one, I could tell how my dad was doing when we played the game. When he was pointing to the card he wanted me to move for him and it was to an accurate position, I could tell his mind and vision were working pretty well, at that point. When he was lethargic and kept pointing to cards that didn't go in particular positions he pointed to, I knew Dad was under the weather. That tipped me off to ask the nurses to check Dad out and make sure he was O.K. Often, those were times when he was getting a case of pneumonia or bronchitis. 

Overall, playing Solitaire made my dad feel like himself again. He was in control of playing a game that gave him pleasure all those years and that was priceless!

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

The Opposite Side of Denial

I've overseen the care of my dad for the last four and a half years. Everything flipped around when I broke my heel and became the caregivee instead of the caregiver. Fortunately for me, my husband was able to care for me while I mended. Then, as I was mostly healed, my husband's back and shoulder started giving him problems and I became the caregiver again.

The thing I quickly found out was that my husband was in denial. He felt that after a treatment or two, he was all better and could do everything the way he had been doing prior to his injury. It seems like it was about a month and a half later, those same issues flared up again. Again, when I suggested altering the way he had been doing things was met with denial, I had to be prayerful about all of this.

In doing so, Christ led me to know that what I was saying may be true, my husband wasn't at the point that he was ready to hear it. He didn't want any suggestions or tips. He just wanted to be cured fast and to be able to return to his normal routine. He didn't want to look at what in his normal routine might be causing this to flare up again. Fortunately, Christ let me know this. Of course, He reminded me of when I was in denial while my heel was healing and wanted to do things my own way, even if my body wasn't ready for it yet. I had realize that I needed to just be supportive and my husband will come to the conclusions he needs in his timing and not mine. This insight that Christ gave me was very helpful information!

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

The Flip Side of Denial

Well, I have been overseeing my dad's care for the last four and a half years. He started out living with us for a year when he first moved here. Then, the doctors felt he needed more medical care than we could provide for him, so he moved to a local group home. Dad's Parkinson's Disease and repeated bouts of pneumonia got to the point that the doctors felt Dad needed to be in a Skilled Nursing Facility 24/7. Fortunately for us, there was an available room for Dad in the State Veteran's Home.

Then, things flipped all the way around. I broke my heel nine months ago and instead of being the caregiver, I was all of a sudden, the caregivee. Fortunately, my husband was able to care for me, but it's totally different being on the other side of the fence, so I'm trying to share the insights God's given me as a caregivee.

Now, I was in denial at times. I thought if only I tried harder, practice more, I could walk sooner and better, but it wasn't always the case. Sometimes, when I tried harder or practiced more, I went to extreme, which sometimes had a counter productive effect. Sometimes, I wouldn't be able to walk or even hobble the rest of the day, because I had overdone it, by doing to much. At those times, it was me trying to make myself healthier and well faster and I wasn't turning it and the timing over to Christ's very capable hands. Sometimes, He just needs us to get stronger first, and exercise with moderation, not self-willed extreme!

These Are Other Blogs I Felt Led to Write:

The Flip Side of Shopping

The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that getteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Proverbs 23: 24

When I first started going shopping after mostly healing from my broken heel, I didn't have the stamina to go from one side of the store and back again. I would try walking around the inside of a smaller grocery store several times, to build up my strength. 

Still, some of the bigger stores can wear you slick going back and forth trying to find items. My husband suggested taking a grocery cart and leaning on it as I walked. I was very reluctant to try this, at first. Somehow, it seemed like I was cheating, like I was not building up the muscles in my leg, because I was relying on the cart for support.

I have a friend who is a physical therapist and she said using the cart is really beneficial to build up the muscles. So, I reluctantly tried it until my leg started getting stronger. Now, I most often try to walk across the store without the cart any time I don't have many things to purchase. Of course, when I have a long list, I can still walk along with the cart without leaning on it.

Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.
By: caregivinghelp, Patricia Van Meter, Anne Suzuki, Richard E. Powers, Anna Treinkman, Danielle Arends, Andrea K. Bial, Judy Holstein, Scott A. Miller, Ida Wojcicki via You Tube


The Flip Side-Caregiving and Remembering What It's Like

Come, you children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Psalm 34:11 NKJV

Well, I had overseen my dad's care for the last 4 1/2 years and had a big adjustment to make when I became the caregivee when I broke my heel and couldn't put any weight on it for almost four months.


When I was released from physical therapy, days later, my husband had a back injury, but fortunately, God had me well enough to help care for my husband who had been caring for me all those many months. 

The tricky thing is, my husband didn't always seem very appreciative of my help or suggestions, which is frustrating. Sure, I had recently been through some of this, but my husband wanted to meander through the healing process his own way, not mine! I needed to keep turning this over to God's very capable hands to when I felt hurt by his lack of enthusiasm for my support. Christ helped me realize that my husband wasn't feeling well and it's normal to be cranky, at times. It was good to be reminded of this!


Since these are examples of how I've applied these Bible verses to my experience, they may not reflect the whole meaning of the verse.

I'm including You Tube Video clips on caregiving that I found interesting, inspirational, or might be helpful to others, but am not responsible for the content in the videos. Always check first with a physician before trying any suggestions mentioned.
By: Mary Alexander, Home Instead, monkeysee.com via You Tube 


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